13 1 / 2019
today’s kids will never understand the horrors of having to share ONE computer with the whole damn family
Shoutout to the time I became an atheist at age 9 bc I searched porn on the family desktop and didn’t know how to clear cookies and when I prayed for god to help me nothing happened
(Source: twitter.com, via laughinginternally)
13 1 / 2019
28 12 / 2018
Too many holiday cookies will give you nightmares. An anonymous fear submitted to Deep Dark Fears - thanks! You can find my DDF books wherever books are sold!
18 12 / 2018
The worst part about parallel parking is the witnesses
no witnesses if youre bad enough at parallel parking
(via laughinginternally)
18 12 / 2018
“I just finished medical school. Now I’m heading to residency, which is supposed to be even tougher. I’ve been working sixteen-hour days. Then I’m expected to study every night when I get home. Some of my classmates only sleep three hours per night. I tried that for a few months during my surgery rotation, but I ended up getting really depressed. I felt completely depersonalized. Everything seemed like a dream. To make matters worse, a lot of the instructors are jerks. I think they went through hell when they were students, so they feel like they should put us through hell. On the first day of rotations, my attending physician told me: ‘I’m an asshole, but I’ll make you a better doctor.’ He made fun of me in front of other students. He put me down in front of patients. He’d threaten to kick me out every day. I guess they’re trying to weed people out and make strong doctors. But they’re just traumatizing people. They’re making us apathetic. I got into medicine because I really wanted to make a difference in people’s lives. But after going through hell, I just don’t care anymore.”
(Source: humansofnewyork)
14 12 / 2018
im so fucking distraught someone came into my wendys and asked they could use their own cup and i said yes and he filled a ziplock bag full of coke! i hate working fast food!!! what the fuck!!
(via laughinginternally)